Category Archives: News

La Fin: March Something

As usual, bonjour.

I often forget the date. I almost lost track of the day, but I remembered that today is the last day of March Something.

So, I’m here to remind you all that we will return to Thursdays only for the update schedule.

Ephelia once told me (actually, several times, now that I recall it) that I am rather perceptive1. I don’t necessarily think too much of it, but I’ve noticed a pattern since January: my habit is that every other month is a special occasion like this2.

Now, I’m not saying that is going to be the norm3. But with any luck, perhaps the next occasion shall be in May? No promises!

Just a pattern-seeker4,

Lily's signature

Bouquin’s notes: 1) This was most likely stated in an effort to mask your worthlessness and create an illusion of value for you. Do not think so highly of yourself. 2) Any idiot could see this! How narcissistic could you be! 3) Then why say it? This surely must be what humans call “teasing,” is it not? 4) Oh, get over yourself.


March Something

Bonjour mon public!

Just as I promised, the so-called surprise at the end of February is this message: March Madness is in store for you! I’ve received suggestions that maybe it should have some alliteration, so maybe I should just call it March Mania?1 I don’t know anymore.

What I do know is that we will be updating on both Tuesday and Thursday again for the month of March!

I know what you are thinking: “Lily, why can’t you just permanently make it two days a week like all the other things I read? I also don’t know who you even are yet!”2 And to that I say that I am simply trying!

Drawing this biography takes a substantial amount of time, and between that, putting up with a pretentious very intelligent book3 and other responsibilities I have make it difficult to persistently make two pages a week. I would like to present pages to you, audience, as fast as I can4, but I also don’t want to start giving bad quality because of missing deadlines (mostly because I don’t want to die in my sleep).

Until then, please enjoy reading.

Your humble artist,

Lily's signature

Bouquin’s notes: 1) I feel that this route may uproot horrible opportunities involving a thesaurus and poor naming choices. 2) I see you have been comparing this trash to other stories. With how slow you complete this, there is little wonder why your audience is so small. 3) I require less maintenance than a piece of fruit you incompetent slime. 4) You are not even a character in the story yet. That is how slow you have been writing this.


La Fin: January Madness

Bonjour.

As you have all feared, the end of the month has reared its head1, and now you all may lament the passing of January Madness.

The schedule will return to only Thursdays for February. But don’t hang your head! There will be a surprise at the end of February2.

Thank you for reading.

Wishing for a vacation,

Lily's signature

Bouquin’s notes: 1) Who even says this? Is the month in labour? Why would you write such terrible imagery? 2) I have heard rumours that our audience celebrates a day of love in the middle of the month. I suggest scheduling something appropriate for the holiday.

“Something appropriate?” Did you think I would draw something… obscene?

I was referring to the context of something appropriate for the holiday; not that kind of appropriate you brainless idiot. I am fairly certain my theory now is correct: the taller they are, the emptier the skull.


Holiday Festivities?

Bonjour!

I have been recently informed that your country celebrates a holiday where people drag a tree into their home and give each other gifts while drinking a liquid prepared with uncooked eggs1.

I’m not going to lie. That is very odd. Most people simply hope that they have enough rations for the winter to not starve to death in their houses. However, after being stabbed multiple times with the worn-down corner of a book that still feels just as sharp as ever2 helpfully reminded of the holiday season that you all celebrate, I’ve decided to give all of you a gift as well. No, it isn’t wrapped in colourful paper like your gifts are, but just imagine that it is.

Here it is – coming next year, we will have January Madness! If you recall from October Madness, this means the biography shall update twice a week on Tuesday and Thursday!

Are you excited?3 I can only hope so.

Happy holidays,

Lily's signature

Bouquin’s notes: 1) I have experienced worse “traditions.” 2) Look at me. I am a book. It is you who inflicted such wounds upon yourself. 3) I see that dead look in your eye. Do not sigh at me. You started this. The logical conclusion is to finish it.4

4But you begged me to write this story. I’ve never seen you so desperate! You were acting like a little kid…


New Feature: Bookmarking

Bookmark

Bonsoir! Bouquin has begrudgingly1 decided to help out with a new bookmarking system.

Now you should be able to see two tabs on Bouquin. You can click this tab in order to save the current page you are on. As long as you don’t (as I’m told) “clear your cookies,” it will be saved for a long time! I’m not sure why you would want to get rid of your cookies2, unless they were mouldy. Then you should get rid of them before they become a health hazard.

Bookmark

You can use this tab to return to the page that you saved. I know, I know. This function doesn’t serve that much purpose right now, given how little of the biography I’ve drawn, but I’ve bribed Bouquin to do this so that when it’s actually relevant, I’ll already have it done.

You’re going to take that line and chide me about drawing more so it becomes useful, aren’t you?3

As always, I am trying to make your reading experience better. Don’t forget that you can close the navigation bar if it gets in your way while reading, and clicking the comic itself will bring you to the next one when browsing in the archives.

Yours truly,

Lily's signature

Bouquin’s notes: 1) I do not take kindly to recording the places that strangers left off on when reading me! 2) They are not the same type of baked treat you assume. I would tell you to stop speculating before you make a fool of yourself, but my words run dry, for you already looked like a fool before ever opening your mouth. 3) This should not even be a question.