Thank you everyone for entering the contest! I’m pleased to announce the winners!
Grand Prize Winners
I’d “lend him a hand” and take him to the teppenyaki joint set up in his own cave. Get my own dance routine of throwing food and kicking, punching and headbutting buttons to be a real life equivalent of fruit ninja. Cue fun Zen master training montage of teaching him and cleaning the place (Ephelia really did make a mess). Afterwards us three, (including Aryss) can open our very own awardwinning dinning experience which will allow them to have fun and earn enough money (legally) to save their father.
S.A.: Aww, this one is really sweet, I just love it! (´ε｀ )♡ I’m also equally impressed that you went back and actually found their names, cheers!
Pharazon: I’m glad that someone picked Thadd, he’s been having a rough week. I’m also even more surprised with not only opening up a restraunt but an award winning restraunt. That’s not too easy to do.
Oshgoggles: I’m surprised someone picked the bandit guy. This isn’t really a valentine’s thing but the idea of a man ‘singlehandedly’ starting his own restaurant in a cave that is famous for death traps and severing the heads of 16 year old girls sounds good to me. Food so tasty your head will roll!
I would kidnap him and read the entire book of 50 shades of grey,then i would proceed to stack 2 copies of 50 shades of grey on top of him and below him like a sandwich…Then i’d dim the lights and leave him there alone with them…rest in peperonis bouquin
S.A.: I lol’d, what the hell poor Bouquin.
Pharazon: I think Bouquin’s favorite part would be where you stopped reading and left the room.
Oshgoggles: I feel like this would torture Daniel more than Bouquin, having to read the entirety of 50 shades out loud. A pyrrhic victory and a satisfying valentine’s day since Bouquin can lay there darkly amused that it succeeded in wasting precious hours of that guy’s mortal life.
“Hello! You must be Eldritch Horror-Chan! My name is Reese! It’s great to meet you!” said the blue eyed man.
“BLAAAAARGG!” said Eldritch Horror-Chan, salivating.
“That’s so sweet! I glad we got matched on Tinder too! Now, for our first date, I was thinking we could get sushi for our first date! Does that work for you?”
“BLAAAARGGGRAAAH” said Eldritch Horror-chan.
“Great! Let’s go!”
The two soon arrived.
“Here we are, Eldritch Horror-Chan! Do you know what you want?”
“The tuna here is fantastic! But I really love the salmon. Let’s start with some miso soup! Waiter!”
The waiter walked over.
“Wh-what would-d you l-like?” the waiter asked, staring at the sight of Eldritch Horror-chan, “Ho-how abou-“
Eldritch Horror-chan devoured him in a single bite.
“Wow!” exclaimed Reese. “You must be hungry!”
Reese flagged down another waiter, who soon brought their order. As soon as he set the food down, Eldritch Horror-Chan ate him, too.
“Don’t fill up on too many snacks! You just gotta save room for this sushi!” advised Reese.
The two ate happily, Reese with chopsticks, Eldritch Horror-Chan with her gaping maw. She soon destroyed the table with her thrashing claws.
“No worries, dear! Those things break like sticks! The owner will replace it. Anyways, shall we go?” Reese asked
“Ok, I’ll walk you home!”
They walked together, hand in claw. When they reached the door, Reese leaned in for a kiss and Eldritch Horror-Chan devoured him whole.
Pharazon: Unsure if I should envision it standing or seated in an incredibly sturdy chair. Points for lasting longer than anyone else so far. Also I greatly enjoyed the Belagorag noises it made.
Oshgoggles: Envisioning a gigantic angry monster eating a table while they wait for soup amused me. What confuses me most is that it waited for him to walk it home before eating him too. It was clearly love at first bite. I wish them well!
Congratulations, you win Vol. 1, a print, bookmark, and a sticker!
We’d create a portal together, travel to Nazi Germany through the power of magic/science, (When is science going to invent magic anyways?) and watch a book burning together. I know Bouquin will enjoy the show, and if he doesn’t I’m sure he’d love to participate instead!
S.A.: I’m laughing but I can’t tell anyone why. I guess you guys will just have to keep reading the story ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ
Pharazon: I too feel we need to invest more in science’s efforts to discover magic.
Oshgoggles: Yes, I bet he would.
You’ve probably not met my Valentine,
after all, he’s awfully shy.
All that matters is that he’s mine
But perhaps I oversimplify.
Tonight we’re going on a date,
To force a princess into a new fate.
He’s a simple man, my Valentine
but I wouldn’t have it any other way
He doesn’t dress up in Calvin Klein,
but I love him like we’re in a play.
We meet together in a dark cave
love washes over me like a wave
Finally, after waiting oh so long
the princess runs into my valentine
suddenly she’s bound by chains quite strong
She almost ruins the moment as she begins to whine
But you can’t ruin my moment with my love
and she’s as stuck as a caged dove.
As dark hands creep towards her
my hand is held by my valentine
in her guts, the hands begin to stir
butchering her like swine.
He draws me close as her guts dribble out like spaghetti
As we watch a lovely sight, as rare as a yeti.
I watch my beloved valentine
as he reaches out with green fire
her life is nearing decline
so he lets her choose between life or funeral pyre.
She wants to live, to become a knight
so my dearest love plants something in her out of sight
Soon she’ll discover what lurks within
But enough of her, I have plans to dine
I’m going to a tasteful inn
for a post-maiming dinner with my Valentine.
S.A.: I didn’t actually think anyone would make a POEM. Or hell even pick THIS CHARACTER.
Pharazon: I enjoyed this poem and pleasantly surprised someone picked this character.
Oshgoggles: The poem is neat. It makes me think of a person in a nice suit finishing up some business before going out on a date.
If I were on a date with Ephelia, I would take her somewhere to buy new clothes without bloodstains. Afterwards, take her to wherever she wants to go. Being anything from going somewhere quiet, going to an animal shelter to pat adorable cats/dogs or even to go see a movie (No matter what genre).
Later at night treat her to a dinner of her specifics (I’m a very good cook) and spent the rest of the evening talking about her interests.
Valentine is not a day of luxury. It is to show how much you care about that other significant person. (I am a gentleman when it comes to that).
S.A.: This one was a nice one with Ephelia. I also can’t believe I had to specify not to be lewd and weird about a teenage girl ( ಠ益ಠ)
Pharazon: Good call on change of clothes, that can completely dictate the feel of the evening. Points for being so flexible, but backup plans are good in the event she can’t decide on something.
Oshgoggles: I chose one of the nice submissions for Ephelia. Weirdly all of them seem to involve going to the movies.
Congratulations, you win a print, bookmark, and a sticker!
I would take him out and get him cleaned up. We would go to a nice quiet library and I would write poetry in him. We would come up with stories and I would explore his personality through his beautiful pages. We would tell each other secrets and write our hearts out. I would not take my eyes off his pages and we would converse all day. I would tell him tales of my world and hopefully he would share his with me. I wouldn’t put him away. I would probably try to find him a spell to transform him into a human for a little while as well so that he could see what it’s like. And hopefully, we would hit it off >///<
S.A.: OH MY!
Pharazon: This sounded very sweet. Keep in mind though that it may not go as smoothly or end as you wish.
Oshgoggles: Another one where the person chooses to be nice to the character instead of using Valentine’s as a veiled excuse to torture the character. Coincidently, this one would probably be more torturous for Bouquin than having 50 shades read to him.
we’ll begin by meeting at the town’s hall, we’ll have a great breakfast that satisfies both of us, then we’ll visit the knights and medieval ages museum, we’ll have a look at the history of the knights and how chivalry for the knight’s code is, we’ll enjoy some knights training session for guests, and then we’ll take a look at different types of swords and how they’re used, we’ll go to the archery field where we’ll learn the history and the style for archery including the free archery training zone.
then when lunch time arrives we’ll have grilled steaks with heavy gravy, followed by a lengthy training session for horse riding, we’ll learn the difference between horse types and pieces, and how to take care of each type, we’ll then visit the sorcery section where i’ll buy her some books to enhance her magic abilities and studies, i’ll join her for some free training sessions in the guests area, then we’ll go to the alchemy labs where we’ll be briefed about the chemicals and how to use them, then under the teacher and my guidance Ephelia will make some alchemy experiences, afterwards, we’ll both go to the grand stadium to watch knights jousting, and we’ll go to the archery arena to watch archers doing their best performance.
by evening now we’ll enjoy a good clear sky filled with stars as the fireworks show begins, we’ll enjoy some fresh cold ice cream on top of the big hills grassy green field, before leaving i’ll buy her a hair clip, and a book about more secrets and techniques about knights, blades, archery, alchemy and other stuff with some free guest souvenirs, as we approach the inn we’ll flirt a little bit, and then we’ll both share one last cup of hot tea, lastly we’ll both take our leaves after a nice big hug and a handshake.
if you thought i’ll try to hit on her any farther you’re sure as hell insane! she can turn into a “”thing”” when she is in grave danger and no need for me to make her feel THAT uncomfortable! so let’s just keep it as clean as possible!
S.A.: if not for that little quip at the end…..
Pharazon: Biased because I think this would be super fun to go do. If Ephelia didn’t want to go, I’d gladly switch. Good call on keeping it clean.
Oshgoggles: Ephelia is not a very good student and all this history training stuff would make her head fall off *again*
Dear Eldritch Horror-chan,
For our Valentines day date, I’d simply love…..to take you for a nice walk in the park. I can see it now, me gazing into your sparkling red, irritated arm eyes as you wear your fashionable sun hat over the front of your beautiful, gaping back mouth. With your bloody intestines flowing in the wind, I’ll grasp your bloodstained claw and take you frolicking through the nearest field of flowers while watching children flee in terror. After that, I’ll call the royal guard and watch you tear at them limb from limb with the grace of a thousand gazelles! Then we’ll take a break and eat the sandwiches I packed, oops! haha…you kinda bit my hand off while I was giving you your share! Silly Eldritch Horror-chan, your supposed to wait AFTER I put the sandwich on your plate! XD
Later we’ll watch the sunset together. Your glistening skin is glowing ruby red with blood drops as the sun bids goodbye. Do you have dreams Eldritch Horror-chan? Do wish for a day you’ll finally be understood by the people whose faces you’ve torn off? It’s not about what’s on the outside, but on the inside!….W-well I know your insides ARE on the outside, but that’s not the point! Someday, you’ll find your one true love! With one last embrace, I’m sorry to say our date is over and we must go our separate ways. Happy Valentine’s day Eldritch Horror-chan, even if you devour me now, always remember you are still better than many people out there. (^__^)
S.A.: You guys really pick some weird valentines.
Pharazon: Somehow the image of it wearing a sun hat will not leave me
Oshgoggles: See the good in people even if some are man-eating demons.
The winners will be contacted via email later. Thank you for participating and I hope you had fun!